How to Lose and Love It

Recently two of my absolute favorite and motivational people suffered tremendous losses.  Ronda Rousey and Connor Mcgreggor, were both innovators and the most motivated people anyone fight fans had seen in years.  They changed the game no question.

People believed Ronda was a god amongst mortals and Connor told us he was.  They won when every thought they wouldn’t, and some hoped they wouldn’t.

They set out to do the impossible. Doing the Impossible.  To be clear they succeeded more than they failed.

I want to talk about everyone’s reaction to their failure and how they handled loss.


Ronda’s Statement

“I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I’m like, ‘I’m nothing, what do I do anymore and no one gives a s–t about me anymore without this,’ 


Following this statement many called her “weak”, “unfit”, and “broken”.  Many doubted she’d ever fight again.  The woman who not only made women’s MMA “a thing” and became one of the top earner and PPV sellers for the company was now “never going to fight again.”

We are so geared to avoid negativity, to run away from it, that we mistake the very presence of negativity for weakness.

Ignoring the fact that none of the people thinking/saying these things have ever fallen so high and so hard; she describes having these thoughts for a second.  She talked about moving on immediately afterwards.

We so fear negativity that this statement somehow undoes every other challenge she’s overcome, every accomplishment is now void because of a single loss.  We think that truly exceptional people are never negative.  Off to the bin of failure with pop stars, politicians, and celebrities who have failed and been negative.  We cannot fathom “getting back up” These people did and then …

This is bullshit.

I do not say this as an abstract experiment.  I am the grand master of nega-fu!

I turned my negativity against myself daily.  I take all that fear, negativity, and anger that is slamming around in my head and use its force to kung fu my way through it.

Is there an adult out there that really thinks everyone goes through life with zero resistance?  We see people at the top of their game and think they don’t have the scars we do.

Every morning I grind out my anger and frustrations in the gym, the cage or on the open road.  I take that pain and know that it is a brotherhood I have with Ms. Rousey.  Kind recognizes kind.

The great Ronda Rousey suffers and struggles like I do.  She beats it back, so can I!  There is no shame in my negativity, it is only struggle that makes me strong.


Connor’s Statement

“I stormed in and put it all on the line. I took a shot and missed. 

I will never apologize for taking a shot.
Shit happens.
I’ll take this loss like a man. I will not shy away from it. I will not change who I am. If another champion goes up 2 weights let me know.
If you’re tired of me talking money, take a nap.
I’ll still be here when you wake up with the highest PPV and the gate. Still talking multi 7’s.
Thank you to the true support and fuck the hate that came out of the woodwork. I love it all. Its still steak for breakfast.
I’ve been here many times in my life in some form or another. I’ll eat it all and come back stronger.
When the history books are written, I showed up. You showed up on Twitter.
To the fans! Never ever shy away from challenges. Never run from adversity. Face yourself head on.” 


I emphasized that the part that makes my point.

He eats the hate and negativity.  He’s been there before and beat it back.

God damnit!  I have goose bumps just reading that!

He loves the loss!

If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you!

Life without struggle is pointless.

Don’t run scared from negativity, your own or what other people put on you.

How you deal with it is what matters.

Eat it like steak for breakfast.  It’s the work that you put in that matters.


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